Whut in the name of tarnation is goin' on over there in l'il ole England? The Consortium is all fired up to take control quicker than a gator huntin' down a groundhog, and yet what do we see? There's dissension in the ranks, accountants posting on that darn Y3K board, pitbulls and cabin men shouting the odds and some cotton pickin' varmint named shakerforever who needs a darn big bull whippin' 'cross his hide. In mah day, if I'd shown the same kinda foul tongue that boy exhibits, mah poppa, god bless his soul, woulda caned mah hide blacker than a bear in a tarpit, ya hear?
But never mind that, I'm a-here today to tell you all about our latest plans for the club, and these are our plans, let no heretic tell you diff'rent. First of all, we're gonna relocate the Shakers to Atlanta GA, hot damn. There's a hardcore of fans here who need top quality soccerball, yes sirree bob. Then we're gonna build them the Enorm-O-dome, kinda like a stadium y'all have over there in England, but bigger. The players will fly over first class on Romanovich Airlines, top quality Swedish masseuses on hand courtesy of good old Arne Uldiron. Pre-match meals of rare steak from mah ranch, topped with Starbuck's finest hogswine. Hot Damn!
Our source among the coaches, William Christopher, has sent through ideas about foreign imports, we're payin top dollar for some quality players like that feller Odebayo from Nigeria and the Bengal Tiger, yes sirree bob. And we're takin' advantage of a new training tip sourced from the Net. Badger Power is the way ahead, mah friends, sure as the wooly's mittens are supa, and the hannah Hotpants are smokin', y'hear? Hot Damn!
Expect more news from the Consortium just as soon as we've finalised our business models and painted that Cabin, y'hear?