Like, oh godddd! Wowee, the flight was so totally awesome, sooooo coool! So we went up in Abram's plane, a big white one, it was soooo lovely, you know? I always wanted to be a high flyer! The same colour as my teeth! Daddy was there, and all the media came, and we promoted the Consortium and I had my photo taken lots and lots, which made me very happy! It was like Britney in the video, i wore a little blue outfit and everything! Dmitri asked me to join the Mile High Club, which he said needed me to go to the toilet cubicle with him. No way, I said, doesn't he know that girly girls only share toilets with other girly girls? So I asked him to give me some forms anyway, I'll join up when I get some free time!
Sooo, anyway, I've been compiling dossiers on all my Consortium colleagues for the media, and I've colour coded them up properly, sooooo like red is for Arne, because that is the colour of the flag of Norway, which is somewhere North, like North Carolina. Jimmy Fazackerly has a black folder, because he is from Blackburn, tee hee! I've given a lovely lush green to Pete Zaparla, it's like my favourite colour, I paint all my nails this colour and they're like fabulous! Buck says it looks like I pick my nose a lot, but he's sooo gross. I think I'm gonna ditch him. Like, this Daddy's girl doesn't need some rude boy hanging on to her coat-tails.
Like, the media sooo love me! We've made it into Cosmo!
My email group is getting bigger now, and I asked the other guys in the Consortium to send me some info for their dossiers. Sooo here's what I've got together to tell the press!Arne Uldiron
He's lovely, but his English is a little funny! His sisters, wife, cousins and nieces all work for his companies. He doesn't know anything about football, but he has many contacts and is very rich! Sigh!Del Starbuck
He's a big man in Texas! Hollers a lot, loves to eat, loves a bit of sauce (tee hee). He doesn't know anything about football, but he has many contacts and is very rich! Aaaah!Pete Zaparla
Former chairman of a former Premiership team. He doesn't know anything about football, but he has many contacts and is very rich! Mmmm!Abram Romanovich
He employs many men who do his dealings for him, has a very glamorous wife and is influential in Russia! He doesn't know anything about football, but he has many contacts and is very, very, very rich!Wim Bonus
TOTAL genius. Doesn't make any sense at all because of the hash! He knows everything there is about football, but doesn't know anything about anything else because his brain has been eroded! Used to be rich but spent it all in Amsterdam, which he says is in Europe, which is like up North, like North Carolina!William Christopher
I don't know much about William, but he emailed me a photo of his lycra shorts and he's like, wowee! Hot flushes here! He's soooo manly!Jimmy Fazakerly
A real sweetie pie, with an adorable English accent! Sooo sweet! Knows lots about football and the scouts!
Arne has been telling me that blogging is "not big or clever", but I am loving it! I write some pages myself and they're sooo great! They're awesome for putting on lots of lovely pictures too, tee hee. Next week I will be setting up a new media promotion. Like, I have already signed up to promote footwear and boots and you can see me in a new fishing boots promotion: Anna Kins - Dark Waders!