Sorry but I think Dmitri is cause of Rob O not being around in his Berry bar. As you know, Dmitri has big thing over kneecaps and this man is always walking round with shorts...
My absence is due to investigation into my gas pipelines. I have diverted the gas from former Soviet territories to make money in EU with high prices but was found out when another man in shorts digs hole in Gigg Lane pitch to expose my pipes! Mr Mills, I have shown Dmitri your picture...
On player front. We had private party for George Galloway in Monaco last night and hired David Bowie to entertain us. He was dressed as Alladin Sane from my favourite album. George said he was dead spit for Rula Lenska! Dmitri persuaded him to write new words to "Starman" for Berry new signing and here it is!
Didn’t know what day it was the ball came low oh oh
I leaned back and I flexed my toe oh oh
Left back was givin' me some ball control, "Score a goal", he said.
Then the loud crowd did seem to fay ay ade
Came back like a slow voice on a wave of phay ay ase
That weren’t no miskick that was a hazy cosmic goal
There’s a Jarman we would like to buy
He’d like to come and play for us
But the money we can't find.
There’s a Jarman we would like to buy,
He's told us not to save up
Cause he knows it’s not worthwhile
He told me:
The Club would only lose it
They not allowed to use it
Let's do the Bas Savage boogie!