Our Consortium is hearing that some individual is making life difficult for our FC Berry pal Mister Millsbomb. So far Dmitri hasn’t been able to discern the identity of this fellow but rest assured he shall be incurring our roth before long

Lee Burrow is sending me this team for tomorrow’s game against FC Shrose Berry. He says all of the subs were featured in last Sunday’s paper

Petersson
Alansson
Barry-Murphy
Barry-White
Barry-Pier
Barry-Island
Barry-Cryer
Barry-Townby
Steely-Dan
Barry-Roth
Proxy

Cake
Spigot
Flatiron
Mates
Godson

Dmitri is spending some time in your town this week. He is telling me whilst staying in a hotel he is meeting some Scottish fellow who is badmouthing FC Berry. I don’t suppose we’ll be hearing from Mister Jock Palindrome again

Who is this Oystershaker fellow who has become a self-appointed commentator on our Consortium? I think maybe he should understand that Dmitri has an occasional second career as a Wedding Planner. His particular speciality is to turn up unannounced and make things happen that take the happy couple by surprise, and the guests, and the venue management for that matter

Lee Burrow is sending me this team sheet for tomorrow’s game which is apparently against a team from South Belfast called FC Barnetts Park

Bigg
Bro
Winner
Chantelle
Preston
Guild
Lily
Pink
Gorman
McGough
McGear


Anyinsah
Anyoutsah
Anymoresah
Anyleftsah
Anythingfortheweekendsah

We are having a bit of a security lapse last week when that scary fellow they call Joe Ninety is catching Lee Burrow faxing me the team sheet. We have been sending Dmitri round to advise him as regards a career move

Lee started telling me some convoluted story about problems with the pitch drainage, but I am, how you say, losing the patients and telling him to give me the message in a nutcase when he gives me the team for tomorrow night’s game in the Turkish Riveria. He hasn’t done it, but just sent me the names. Maybe he’ll tell me next week

Here’s the team. I like the sound of this fellow Fiasco in defence

Team against FC Hellsbells

Cheetham
Hill
Hess
Ian
Fiasco
Michael
Curtis
Fields
Flood
Knight
DeFries

Mills
Try
Biggs
Steel
Pearson

Lee Burrow is telling me things about the boy Casper that really make me wonder if he has, how you say, lost the plotter. First, he has apparently written to all members of the 110 club and asked them to donate money to the Church of England. Come on FC Berry, this is madness. Hasn’t God got enough money? Instead of hedging your bets for the afterlife how about getting the fans to donate money towards the development of Berry’s youngsters? Like starting some kind of a training centre for local talent? How difficult can that be?

And if that was not crazy enough I am learning that Casper is intending to put himself in goal! I suppose he is working on the principle that he can’t be any worse than that last buffoon, the man with the Teflon gloves. Surely there must be some young goalkeeper from a local Premiership club who could join FC Berry on loan. Does nobody think of these things? Really, the sooner our Consortium takes over, the better!!

Lee Burrow is sending me this teamsheet for the game on Saturday against Rovers Bristle. He says there is no news yet on this palindrome fellow he mentioned last week. But he says the 2 strikers are Men in the Know

CC
Palin
Drome
Deed
Navan
Otto
Kyryk
Poop
Hannah
Damien
Dad

Faithfull
Fitt
Tryer
Lee
Unsworth