tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57427412007-08-05T04:38:56.174ZThe ConsortiumDominic Martinezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06472752634429943771noreply@blogger.comBlogger162125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1166707458880350692006-12-21T13:23:00.000Z2006-12-21T13:25:43.586ZHej! And a big Arne stylee Christmas greeting to all you crazy FC Berry fans. As you may have seen our Consortium has finally given up with Giggland and moved our attention to the Magic Roundabout in Swindon. FC United Berry seems in, how you say, well hands these days and will not be needing our expert input
Our last move will be to send Dmitri round to FA Headquarters to have a word with that Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1157095778469311232006-09-01T07:28:00.000Z2006-09-01T07:29:38.480ZGreetings all you crazy FC Berry fans, and a special big Arne stylee hej! to Berryrules from the messageboard. That boy will go far!
Reading through some recent stories on the FC Berry website I am coming across goal machine Matthew Tipton telling us to Lump on at Ladbrokes for him to be FC Berry’s top scorer this season. Now as a self made mega-mogul old Arne knows a sure thing when he sees oneArnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1156458698987106202006-08-25T07:30:00.000Z2006-08-24T22:35:58.756ZHej long suffering fans of FC Berry!
My how you say dressing room molar Lee Burrow is still faxing me team news but up until now I have been too depressed to post them. But I am hearing good reports about the match on Tuesday and perhaps things are now looking up for FC Berry
Lee has written “Tossers!” against half of tomorrow’s team against FC Grimsdale. I see Mister Casper is back in goal. IfArnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1156415672827116242006-08-24T10:22:00.000Z2006-08-24T10:44:51.640ZHowdy y'all, darn fine to be back. Germany was a blast, yes sirree, all those fine ladies in lederhosen, fair got muh blood a boilin'!
But enough of this hog rasslin', down tuh business. Dmitri has been sent to Poland to infiltrate a number of pesky organisations we believe to be in need of some serious PR and staff training. He reports that operation "TonyD" is proceeding well. Our chief Del Starbucknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1155896819816677702006-08-18T10:13:00.000Z2006-08-18T10:26:59.826ZTa daaaa! We're back! How exciting is this? The Consortium have been having some real jollies in Germany; we all met up for the World Cup, which was sooo exciting, and us girlies all got together to form the Consortium Consorts, Underlings, Partners and Sweethearts (C-CUPS). There was me; Wim's wife, the lovely Eejsta Bonus and her two year old daughter Chreejstmas; Rusty and Heepa Uldiron; and Anna Kinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407714201015470041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1142545936939448372006-03-17T08:45:00.000Z2006-03-16T21:52:16.950ZI am hearing stories that instead of losing matches, FC Berry are now busy losing fans. I didn't think they had that many to start with
Lee Burrow is sending me this team sheet for Saturdays game against FC Grimm Brothers. He says Kris Kasper is hoping for a fairy tale result
Kasper
Biggs
Tropp
Boards
Hutt
Down
Friday
Back
Sabbath
Laffin
Stock
Faithful
Fanz
Barrick
Berry
BossArnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1142261522230783212006-03-13T14:44:00.000Z2006-03-13T14:52:02.786ZLike, gosh! Weeeeeee! Back today from a super tour of Europe promoting my new calendar, and I walked back into a really big crisis! There are two messages on my desk marked "URGENT - PRESS RELEASE". I haven't been able to, like, find a button marked RELEASE so instead I'm copying them out here! Hee hee!
Consortium Press release March 13th - 11.14am
The Consortium has decided to close this Anna Kinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407714201015470041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1141979170237787722006-03-10T08:24:00.000Z2006-03-10T08:26:10.246ZI’m still trying to find out how FC Berry performed on Tuesday night against FC Stop Pork. These days Lee Burrow isn’t much good at telling me about previous games but at least he is still sending me team sheets, such as this one for tomorrow’s trip to FC Rex Ham, which apparently is named in honour of your great English actor Sir Rex Harrison, and in particular his performance in My Fair Lady (Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1141390808222424382006-03-03T12:51:00.000Z2006-03-03T13:00:08.233ZHey there folks, just back from a grand ole vacation down at the grand ole opry with Prince Andrew, the GODOY. Now if thuh's one thing that gets muh gander up more thun a rattler in muh woodpile, it's the sight of an inappropriate choice of headgear. Muh colleagues Wim and Anna have bin sending messages about thuh Mills fella and his wearin' of a stetson.
Now those that know Del, know muh main Del Starbucknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1141376957026594832006-03-03T09:07:00.000Z2006-03-03T09:10:23.256ZI am just hearing that FC Berry played a big game against Derby on Tuesday night. I am asking Lee Burrow how we got on, but he is not saying. Instead he is telling me this team for the game tomorrow at home against FC Max. Apparently the weather forecast is for sub zero temperatures. Lee Burrow says that confidence is good and that our new strike pairing are red hot
Dane
Starr
Butt
Daley
Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1140738013584846252006-02-24T08:38:00.000Z2006-02-23T23:43:21.880ZOur Consortium is hearing that some individual is making life difficult for our FC Berry pal Mister Millsbomb. So far Dmitri hasn’t been able to discern the identity of this fellow but rest assured he shall be incurring our roth before long
Lee Burrow is sending me this team for tomorrow’s game against FC Shrose Berry. He says all of the subs were featured in last Sunday’s paper
Petersson
Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1140164203756325862006-02-17T08:15:00.000Z2006-02-18T13:03:42.583ZDmitri is spending some time in your town this week. He is telling me whilst staying in a hotel he is meeting some Scottish fellow who is badmouthing FC Berry. I don’t suppose we’ll be hearing from Mister Jock Palindrome again
Who is this Oystershaker fellow who has become a self-appointed commentator on our Consortium? I think maybe he should understand that Dmitri has an occasional second Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1139856804965704552006-02-13T18:52:00.000Z2006-02-13T18:55:25.113ZWe are having a bit of a security lapse last week when that scary fellow they call Joe Ninety is catching Lee Burrow faxing me the team sheet. We have been sending Dmitri round to advise him as regards a career move
Lee started telling me some convoluted story about problems with the pitch drainage, but I am, how you say, losing the patients and telling him to give me the message in a nutcase Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1138955128813682202006-02-03T08:22:00.000Z2006-02-03T08:25:28.823ZLee Burrow is telling me things about the boy Casper that really make me wonder if he has, how you say, lost the plotter. First, he has apparently written to all members of the 110 club and asked them to donate money to the Church of England. Come on FC Berry, this is madness. Hasn’t God got enough money? Instead of hedging your bets for the afterlife how about getting the fans to donate money Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1138356549228690662006-01-27T09:09:00.000Z2006-01-27T10:09:09.293ZArne my Norvegian friend! You are in the Costa Sol and not calling round to my yacht in Puerto Banus? Last time I checked down below the twins are still here and would be pleased to give you the service!
Sorry but I think Dmitri is cause of Rob O not being around in his Berry bar. As you know, Dmitri has big thing over kneecaps and this man is always walking round with shorts...
My absence is Abramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05774172162621734806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1138350562761828832006-01-27T08:28:00.000Z2006-01-27T08:29:22.773ZI am in Malaga last weekend looking at a team in which I have a small interest. Obviously I can’t reveal the name of my team, suffice it to say that Celta Vigo made it look easy. Bluddy rubbish unnamed team! Tapia OUT!!!!
Later in the weekend I am looking at potential property development in the bustling resort of Arroyo de Miel, when I come across a busy little bar called the Anytime. This Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1137745819936176732006-01-20T08:29:00.000Z2006-01-20T20:04:19.166ZMy Consortium colleague Abram Romanovic is a resourceful fellow. Years ago when he was just a young, how you say, up-and-going mogul he signed a deal with the Kremlin to buy the sack-cloth mailbags produced by prisoners in the Gulags. In return for paying these insurgent lowlife a rouble a day and all the weevil infested black bread they could eat, he formed a company to export their wares aroundArnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1137407796048200652006-01-16T10:28:00.000Z2006-01-16T10:36:36.070ZWell darn it all! I'm just back from a l'il vacation with my sweet Marie down in Amarillo (bless huh, she always waits for me) and she was telling me about a l'il situayyyyshun that's arisen down there. Apparently there's been a dispute between a local strip bar and a prominent public resident, Jonias Newbsome. The latter's a keen public servant, but it transpires that in recent times old Jonias Del Starbucknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1137100106039754892006-01-12T21:06:00.000Z2006-01-12T21:08:26.050ZI am still thinking up the smart new ideas for FC Berry to raise some cash. I hear that both of my ideas from last week have been taken up already! I have the new initiative which the club would do well to take up. It’s simple, yet brilliant, and it goes like this…….
Form an elite club of supporters. Limit it to a round number, say a hundred, then sneak in a few more when nobody's looking. HoldArnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1136555949325371622006-01-06T13:56:00.000Z2006-01-06T13:59:34.320ZHot DAMN! Anna has sent us her Calendar for 2006, which is to be released in the near future. She's hotter than a grizzly chasin' a pesky varmint down a panhandle road, yes sirree! It should be illegal but thank heavens to betsy it ain't.
Arne ol' son, you got Del here thinkin'. Carly Simon huh? Well along similar lines, it's a li'l known fact that her compatriot Carole King lives in a ranch notDel Starbucknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1136490323835992372006-01-05T19:43:00.000Z2006-01-05T19:45:23.846ZHappy New Year to all FC Berry fans!
I am having the think over Christmas as to how FC Berry can make some extra cash. I’ve come up with 2 very good ideas
Firstly, the pitch is only used once a fortnight. Why not rent it out to some local community team! There must be some bunch of subterranean league suckers who’ll pay big money to play pub football at Giggland. Get your marketing people on Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1135286559869875332005-12-22T21:21:00.000Z2005-12-23T08:28:54.983ZI am making the most fantastic discovery about FC Berry this week. Apparently the big man who owns the ground has appointed himself as Assistant Manager so he can keep an eye on team affairs. How brilliant is that? I mean, I thought I was smart with my moles, Woodpecker in the squad and Thatcher in the boardroom, but to put yourself into the dugout, that is awesome! Respect to the man they call Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1134734320395479042005-12-16T11:53:00.000Z2005-12-16T11:58:40.403ZThe average age for media managers in the Consortium is, like, 19. Nnnnnn nineteen. How brilliant is that? Wheeeeeeeeeeeey.
Sorry for the lack of messages lately, but you know how busy we girlies are! There's also been a bit of a problem with the media centre, which crashed unexpectedly. Normally I have no problem when things go down for days but on this occasion it was very vexing. I phoned Anna Kinshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03407714201015470041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1134722813014203912005-12-16T08:45:00.000Z2005-12-16T08:46:53.026ZMy cunning plan for my new boardroom mole Thatcher is going well. I decided to mis-spell her title, and thus her email address. This means that no-one will be able to contact her with trivial fan business and divert her from her real task. Is brilliant, yes?
Along with my Consortium colleagues Del and Abram, I am pleased that oil shares have greatly increased in price, since that mysterious Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5742741.post-1134084763795567332005-12-09T08:15:00.000Z2005-12-08T23:39:09.103ZI’m am becoming intrigued by this boy Gasper who is in charge of FC Berry, and am wondering if he is the right sort of fellow to be Manager when our Consortium finally takes over the club. So I am hatching this cunning plan, which is to send in one of my top UK agents on a fact-finding mission. The clever bit is that I am planning to send my man in the guise of an up and coming journalist, doing Arnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17002343891875950655noreply@blogger.com