The Consortium

We, The Consortium, are a mixture of fans, businessmen and sports people who believe we can bring Bury FC to the forefront of English & European Football. Current members are Pete Zaparla, Arne Uldiron, Abram Romanovic, Del Starbuck, William Christopher, Jimmy Fazakerly, and Wim Bonus. Media manager is Anna Kins. What are we up to? Read on ...


If not by direct action, then by stealth - theconsortium@hotmail.co.uk

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Well hot dammit! Our small fry dealings at the Church o'Horn have been spotted. That's a darn shame, but it proves to the Shakers we're serious - or my name's not Delbert Zahary Starbuck the Third, yes sirree bob.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Greetings fellow FC Bury fans!

As I predicted my new informant is firmly established in the FC Bury dressing room. Like before I am having to use a codename for my mole, so this time I shall be referring to him as Antarctic. He is telling me that he will have to be very careful with the team names, or any other exclusive information, as the new manager has installed his own enforcer, just like that fellow Andy Morrissey last season. Apparently this new guy is a big scary baldy fellow who they call Joe Ninety, although not to his face I am thinking!

Antarctic is telling me all sorts of things that have happened at FC Bury while I’ve been busy elsewhere. Apparently the boy Sedoni has left, and gone to Russia to look for diamonds! I am aghast! Who is going to score the goals now I’m asking? But my mole tells me everything is going to be OK. Also apparently Mr Barrowsby has appointed a Surgeon who sits at a bench. This is all very strange

Anyway here is the team for tomorrow’s game against FC Lynk Holm. I hope you fans know who these codenames mean, because I don’t! Antarctic tells me Mr Barrowsby’s team has a solid trio of centre backs, although one of them is a bit past it. He says one of the wing backs looks better than the other. The midfield trio have developed a good balance, and the strike pairing are getting better every week

Welsh
Weaker
Block
Rock
Crock
Sleeker
Kicker
Flicker
Slicker
Gump
Clump

Subs
Mildman
Bitterman
Canuck
Leeduck
Cuvver

I am telling Antarctic to send me inside details on a different squad member every week, and I look forward to his reports. Upwards and Onwards!!

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Hello to all you FC Bury fans!

Yes, like that Mr Never-Never on the Official Message Board old Arne is stillnotgone! I am keeping how you say, the looking brief on this lower league club that is becoming close to my heart

My Consortium colleague Del is telling me of all sorts of progress at Giggland. First I see FC Bury have been promoted to Division Two! How did that happen? Did Abram send Dmitri round to League Headquarters to have a word?

Anyway, I am very close to signing up a new man-in-the-dressing-room who will be giving me the inside doping. Normally everytime I sign one, FC Bury pay him off! Hopefully this one might last a little longer

With a bit of luck he will be on the Uldiron Enterprises payroll by Friday and I will be able to give you exclusive news of the team for Saturday's match. Mind you, I might have to be a bit more careful with the slush funds now that my old buddy Canadian Conrad has got himself into trouble over at his Newspaper Empire. I ask you! You make a tankerload of money, then the pesky shareholders start wanting to know what you're doing with it. Its enough to make you want to wear a wig