The Consortium

We, The Consortium, are a mixture of fans, businessmen and sports people who believe we can bring Bury FC to the forefront of English & European Football. Current members are Pete Zaparla, Arne Uldiron, Abram Romanovic, Del Starbuck, William Christopher, Jimmy Fazakerly, and Wim Bonus. Media manager is Anna Kins. What are we up to? Read on ...

If not by direct action, then by stealth -

Friday, August 25, 2006

Hej long suffering fans of FC Berry!

My how you say dressing room molar Lee Burrow is still faxing me team news but up until now I have been too depressed to post them. But I am hearing good reports about the match on Tuesday and perhaps things are now looking up for FC Berry

Lee has written “Tossers!” against half of tomorrow’s team against FC Grimsdale. I see Mister Casper is back in goal. If FC Berry have got a goal keeping emergency, why doesn’t he sign a keeper on loan?



Come on FC Berry players and fans! Get a grip on yourselves and start pulling together!! Put a spurt on!!! Together we can make a splash in this division!!!!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Howdy y'all, darn fine to be back. Germany was a blast, yes sirree, all those fine ladies in lederhosen, fair got muh blood a boilin'!

But enough of this hog rasslin', down tuh business. Dmitri has been sent to Poland to infiltrate a number of pesky organisations we believe to be in need of some serious PR and staff training. He reports that operation "TonyD" is proceeding well. Our chief misinformation man has also worked well at Gigg Lane, we managed to draw a "Vail" over anti-team chanting in the stands. Hot damn, we can't allow that kinda nonsense to go on.

Anna has also been despatched to a secret location. We believe - and Jimmy backs this up - that she does all her best work when going Down Under. Hot mamma!

Abram and I met with some other serious money men at the World Cup and we are just days away from announcing a "high profile world class" manager who we believe will be perfect for the Gigg Lane hotseat when we take over. It fair boils muh blood to say we can't reveal more right now, but this pesky varmint has more bite about him than a nest of rattlers!

Top of our immediate agenda will be to sort out that PA system they have in place. Abram was at Gigg with some Sunderland folks and he reported that none of them could hear the team announcement and didn't even know who was playing! Tan muh hide, that's a darn shoddy state of affairs. Dmitri was sent to talk to some national press reporters to try and proliferate the media with details of the state of the ground - Abram told me he wouldn't even shackle one of his rams for fear it might disappear!

Have no fear, the Consortium are on the case! Holla if ya hear me.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Ta daaaa! We're back! How exciting is this? The Consortium have been having some real jollies in Germany; we all met up for the World Cup, which was sooo exciting, and us girlies all got together to form the Consortium Consorts, Underlings, Partners and Sweethearts (C-CUPS). There was me; Wim's wife, the lovely Eejsta Bonus and her two year old daughter Chreejstmas; Rusty and Heepa Uldiron; and the very very beautiful Irina Romanovich.

Anyway, tee hee, the C-CUPS invaded many German hotspots where we were sooo popular because of our ties to our rich friends and our enormous collection of balloons! We even bumped into Victoria and Cheryl.

Since we got back to England, things have been just moving so fast; my Daddy always said that the best plans should be laid out over the summer, and he was right. Mind you, he also said that if all the girls attending a summer ball were laid end to end he wouldn't be at all surprised (but I don't understand that, what does that mean?). Anyway, tee hee, our plans are coming together nicely! Del and Abram have been calling in favours from their associates and it looks like, finally, we'll be able to make some serious bids and put in motion our big plans this year!

Wim and William have been working hard with a secret squad of recruits, and they'll be able to tell you more about how that's all going. And of course Arne, our curious little Norwegian colleague, is busy being Arne. He'll no doubt be along soon too.

Keep an eye on this space, the Consortium is back! Tee hee! Waaaay and I'm done!